Looking for a tip or two on how to tackle the dating scene? Then you’ve probably noticed the result of search engine results when you Google the phrase “dating dos and don’ts.” You would see that there are over 300 million results bombard the computer screen and I too have some of mine.
Here are some of my advices that might help you know the dos and don’ts of dating:
- DON’T convince yourself you only have one “type.”
DO widen your definition of a compatible mate. I open myself to the possibility that I can fall in love with someone who doesn’t perfectly meet the criteria that I believe is my ideal or particular “type.”
- DON’T be overly critical or judgmental.
DO approach others with curiosity, kindness, and compassion. Premature dismissals of someone are a one-way ticket to overlooking a potentially great love match.
- DON’T come on too strong. I watch myself for behaviours that could be construed as needy, desperate, unstable, or otherwise undesirable.
DO respect the natural progression of intimacy. Telling a potential mate how much I really, really like them adds a lot of unnecessary pressure. Instead, I gradually reveal my inner thoughts, feelings, and personal story starting with light and casual then progressing to deeper, more intimate self-disclosures.
- DON’T forget the traditional rules of dating.
DO be a gentlemen/lady. Some rules of dating have stood the test of time. Yes, we live in a modern world in which women can pay for themselves and open their own door. Still, it’s nice when the man foots the bill after a dinner date. Likewise, ladies shouldn’t try to be just one of the guys.
- DON’T be overly influenced by expectations of family and friends such as, “Does she practice the same religion? Is he the same race, or does he have the desired financial/educational status?”
DO find a balance with considering the opinions of others, while staying in touch with your own intuition regarding who is a compatible match for you. When I acknowledge my wants and needs, it’s more likely I’ll land a lasting relationship.
- DON’T get lost talking about yourself and your past, including the mistakes, heartaches, who you were ten years ago or even in your last relationship. When getting to know someone in a new relationship, they want to know who you are today not how you were in a past relationship or lifetime.
DO talk about yourself as who you are today in the present and the values and goals you have for yourself in the future.
- DON’T monopolize the conversation or make yourself the highlight real, no one healthy or worthwhile being in a relationship with is interested in getting into a couple-ship with a narcissist.
DO make the conversation reciprocal, be inquisitive and show your interest in getting to know the other person.
- DON’T alter who you are to fit what you think your love interest wants/needs. When we alter who we are and portray values that are not our own, we attract people we were never meant to attract, therefore the relationship is doomed before it begins.
DO present yourself authentically. It is much easier than putting forth the energy required to pretend.
These are just some of the tips I have learn and I’m hoping that these tips could also be of help to you. Happy dating!