Dating Do’s and Don’ts

Looking for a tip or two on how to tackle the dating scene? Then you’ve probably noticed the result of search engine results when you Google the phrase “dating dos and don’ts.” You would see that there are over 300 million results bombard the computer screen and I too have some of mine.

Here are some of my advices that might help you know the dos and don’ts of dating:

 

  1. DON’T convince yourself you only have one “type.”

DO widen your definition of a compatible mate. I open myself to the possibility that I can fall in love with someone who doesn’t perfectly meet the criteria that I believe is my ideal or particular “type.”

 

  1. DON’T be overly critical or judgmental.

DO approach others with curiosity, kindness, and compassion. Premature dismissals of someone are a one-way ticket to overlooking a potentially great love match.

 

  1. DON’T come on too strong. I watch myself for behaviours that could be construed as needy, desperate, unstable, or otherwise undesirable.

DO respect the natural progression of intimacy. Telling a potential mate how much I really, really like them adds a lot of unnecessary pressure. Instead, I gradually reveal my inner thoughts, feelings, and personal story starting with light and casual then progressing to deeper, more intimate self-disclosures.

 

  1. DON’T forget the traditional rules of dating.

DO be a gentlemen/lady. Some rules of dating have stood the test of time. Yes, we live in a modern world in which women can pay for themselves and open their own door. Still, it’s nice when the man foots the bill after a dinner date. Likewise, ladies shouldn’t try to be just one of the guys.

 

  1. DON’T be overly influenced by expectations of family and friends such as, “Does she practice the same religion? Is he the same race, or does he have the desired financial/educational status?”

DO find a balance with considering the opinions of others, while staying in touch with your own intuition regarding who is a compatible match for you. When I acknowledge my wants and needs, it’s more likely I’ll land a lasting relationship.

 

  1. DON’T get lost talking about yourself and your past, including the mistakes, heartaches, who you were ten years ago or even in your last relationship. When getting to know someone in a new relationship, they want to know who you are today not how you were in a past relationship or lifetime.

DO talk about yourself as who you are today in the present and the values and goals you have for yourself in the future.

 

  1. DON’T monopolize the conversation or make yourself the highlight real, no one healthy or worthwhile being in a relationship with is interested in getting into a couple-ship with a narcissist.

DO make the conversation reciprocal, be inquisitive and show your interest in getting to know the other person.

 

  1. DON’T alter who you are to fit what you think your love interest wants/needs. When we alter who we are and portray values that are not our own, we attract people we were never meant to attract, therefore the relationship is doomed before it begins.

DO present yourself authentically. It is much easier than putting forth the energy required to pretend.

 

These are just some of the tips I have learn and I’m hoping that these tips could also be of help to you. Happy dating!

 

Great London Date Ideas

 

Chances are fairly high that you’re either: A. In a relationship, or B. Single. And whichever it is, you need date ideas. And fortunately those dastardly cupids at Doing Something have, true to their name, gone and done something: they’ve enlisted the help of London’s leading “tastemakers” to compile a list of great London date ideas.

The Nomad Cinema

The Nomad Cinema has long been at the forefront of London’s most imaginative outdoor screenings. Each season sees them continuing to innovate against the Johnny-Come-Latelys having a pop at the Nomad crown. With every season’s line up they’re safe as houses, mind you.

 

Bounce Ping Pong

A date featuring just one of these is probably going to be pretty awesome, but to have both of them in one place is mega, and frankly, if you were looking for something else in a good date, you’re probably asking too much.

 

Slim Jim’s Liquor Store

If you’re looking for a laugh then get your date over to Angel and in to the dark and dirty American bar that is Slim Jim’s Liquor Store.

 

Disappearing Dining Club

Try a unique pop up dining experience with the awesome Disappearing Dining Club. The food is European, artful, beautiful, and each night is subject to change; diners are offered a choice of 3 dishes for each course, each meticulously chosen.

 

Experimental Cocktail Club

Become the connoisseur of cocktails at the Experimental Cocktail Club.

 

London Rib Voyages

This date is specially tailored for our DoingSomething adrenaline junkies. Live life in the fast lane and take you and your date on a wild trip down the Thames on a high speed river boat to get the adrenalin pumping.

 

Alternative London Tour

The London street art scene is all around us. After all, we all walk through this great city of ours. This is where the Alternative London Tour steps up to the plate. They have created a London tour that’s for both locals and visitors: a tour which can be enjoyed whether you’re from Battersea or Battambang. It’s a London you won’t find in any guidebooks, thank you very much.

 

Beaufort Bar at The Savoy

Let’s go all 1920’s glam and ‘posh it up’ at the Savoy.

 

Virgin Segway Rally Racing

Get your racing shoes on! It’s time to Segway into the sunset!

 

Powder Keg Diplomacy

This Colonial Britain and Victorian inspired pad is perfect for a first date. With cravats, top hats, old school beats, taxidermy, amazing English food and even better cocktails. The menu changes seasonally, so expect home-made cordials and shrubs.

 

Champagne Afternoon Tea

Get dressed up to the 9’s and enjoy a Champagne Afternoon Tea in Mayfair.

 

Archipelago Restaurant

Fancy a bit of travel on your date? Well, you’re an adventurous sort. I like that. And sometimes you want to trot around the globe with your plate.

 

Gerry’s Bar

This basement level haunt is where you’ll find all of Soho’s waifs and strays, it’s been cool since, well, forever and the clientele look like they haven’t left since the 90s.

 

Mishkin’s Restaurant

Sister Restaurant of Polpo, Mishkin’s is a shining, salted beacon in the treacherous culinary bombsite known as Theatreland.

 

London really has many dating venues to offer. Don’t settle for the usual date. Explore and be adventurous with your date!

 

 

 

 

Being Named Funny is Somewhat… Funny!

I’m pretty sure this is the first time you’ve heard someone go by the name ‘Drez Rehersal’. But I still remember that time I began to loathe the name. After all, when it’s time to go for rehearsal, everyone looks at you and makes fun of you when the teacher says it’s time for dress rehearsal.

At this point, I don’t blame my parents anymore. They’ve given me a unique name and I’m quite fine by it. I find myself true and this is something no other human has.

You might ask me if I have considered taking a legal route out and changing my name. Well, I have. But I thought to myself that wouldn’t be me anymore. Instead, I chose to live by it.

It wasn’t so easy though. Boys made fun of you during high school. Everyone called you different names, like permanent ballerina or stage play constant because “Drez is still drezzing up in the rehersal room”. I know, it’s not too funny. But for the ones who said it, well, it was.

But one guy had interest in me. He also had an awkward name; Kilgore Smith. Everyone called him “killer” and “murderer” because of his name (now we see how childish our companions were in high school). We had a date.

I forgot to tell you about how I looked. I actually find myself quite physically attractive. Personality well, I wasn’t really that kind of person who kisses up to people. Given my name, please. I won’t bow to you given every bullying I’ve encountered throughout my high school.

So we were quite comfortable with each other. I guess we had some interesting chemistry. But then, we had to separate because we were going to different colleges. But he made me laugh. Actually, the way I’m going to teach you some things about making use of your name to get dates came from him (I formulated some improvements to it too.)

Zoom to college. I tried to be what I realized from him. Funny, smart, using my name as a pro rather than a con. That’s when I learned to love my name more. It’s a little bit weird, but it’s me and it describes me pretty well. Everyone goes to Drez Rehersal, then everyone goes to me. I don’t care, I have an awkward name and I’m proud of it.

So I had a few guys dated during college as I was perfecting the technique. Some of these guys took me in their cars. Others took me on some really adventurous outdoor dates. All because I used my name in a perfectly-formulated sentence; the way Kilgore got me in the blink of an eye.

Learning that there were more people like me who had very awkward first names, I decided to start this blog to help them out. It’s never an easy task to deal with and you might think of legally changing it for the better. But give it a chance. I can assure you that you could be as attractive as your name, or your name can be attractive as you. It all depends on perspective.

My Personal Approach to Attract Guys

 

When you’re gearing up for a night out, you probably have a pretty standard checklist: Sexy top? Clearly. Killer pair of heels? Obviously. But there’s a big difference between a guy checking you out and a guy who can’t resist your spell.

  1. I Don’t Disregard the Basics

Even the best ninja-level seduction tricks will be useless if you don’t practice good fundamentals. You may have heard of, or even used, these manoeuvres before, but their success makes them worth repeating. For starters, always keep your group of girls nice and small.

 

  1. I Show Off My Neck and Shoulders

It’s certainly no secret that men are visual creatures. However, it turns out that convincing a guy to approach is far more complex than simply undoing an extra button. It has less to do with displaying lots of cleavage and more to do with flaunting your shoulders. While men are evolutionarily attracted to both bare skin and soft, round shapes, they also have a more developed subconscious that equates boobs spilling out of a too-tight dress with desperation. So I opt for a slightly more discreet body-skimming halter or tube top to give off a confident, sexy vibe.

 

  1. I Use My Drink as a Seduction Prop

A drink can be a great tool if handled correctly as a conversation piece or to clink glasses with him flirtatiously. Just avoid using it as a security blanket. Cradling a drink in front of me puts up a subtle barrier. It shows discomfort when I’m fiddling with my straw or a bottle label. To avoid looking like a stress ball with lipstick, I set down my vodka on the bar or a nearby table now and then to use my hands while telling an especially funny story to a friend. It broadcasts my energy, which is super attractive.

 

  1. Subtly Show Off My Lower Half

Most men won’t appreciate your killer pair of designer heels. Well, most straight guys, anyway but strategically encouraging them to bring their focus downward will still work wonders to lure them over. When I’m seated on a banquette or bar stool, I try crossing and uncrossing my legs every minute or two. It’s a flirtatious action that draws attention to a body part that men crave touching. Another trick: While one of my legs is crossed over the other, I dangle my shoe from my toes so that it’s half off my foot. Not only does this action indicate that I’m unlikely to bolt if he approaches me, but it also suggests that I’m extremely relaxed and self-assured.

 

  1. Put on My Best Game Face

It’s not enough just to stand there and look gorgeous. You also have to flash some fierce and flirty looks. We’re finding that men need a whole lot more coaxing than we’d think. We have to send a pretty strong message that we’d be receptive to the guy if he actually came over to talk to us. Always smile, sultry stares will backfire and try this sneaky tactic to make him think he already knows you.

 

A low-cut top and a smile may lure him in, but you need to appeal to his subconscious to make him approach you. These tips will definitely help you attract hot guys like crazy even the ones you thought were out of your league.